Susan (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} calily) wrote in huntersglenn, |
*Sigh*
Sorry, it brings up a lot of bad memories. First off, I can say from experience that growing up in that kind of environment is hell - pure and simple hell. My grandmother was/is very different on her own and with my grandfather. It's funny, at times I can clearly see how he's broken her spirit over the years and it breaks my heart. I will always remember my grandfather beating or berating me and then being all lovey and hugging my cousins when they came over - this was in the span of an hour's time. It always made me think, "what's wrong with me that I can't get that too? What makes them so much better than me?" It wasn't until I got older that I realized a lot of my grandfather's "good side" is just for show and "what other people think".
I have to admire your mother SO much for having the strength to pick up and go at age 18. I was knocked around at the same age but STAYED because I thought... well, there's a lot of reasons, really. Somehow I find it very encouraging what you posted about your mom being able to be married, stay married and have children without resorting to what she grew up with. Those three things are probably my biggest fears right now.
And I rambled enough for now.
Sorry, it brings up a lot of bad memories. First off, I can say from experience that growing up in that kind of environment is hell - pure and simple hell. My grandmother was/is very different on her own and with my grandfather. It's funny, at times I can clearly see how he's broken her spirit over the years and it breaks my heart. I will always remember my grandfather beating or berating me and then being all lovey and hugging my cousins when they came over - this was in the span of an hour's time. It always made me think, "what's wrong with me that I can't get that too? What makes them so much better than me?" It wasn't until I got older that I realized a lot of my grandfather's "good side" is just for show and "what other people think".
I have to admire your mother SO much for having the strength to pick up and go at age 18. I was knocked around at the same age but STAYED because I thought... well, there's a lot of reasons, really. Somehow I find it very encouraging what you posted about your mom being able to be married, stay married and have children without resorting to what she grew up with. Those three things are probably my biggest fears right now.
And I rambled enough for now.
